Missing Home?

So I've recently become very well acquainted with that term we like to call "homesickness"....and, have I mentioned, I HATE it!
I never really paid attention to that old saying-"You never see what's right in front of you" but I've come to realise that is true in so many ways. It's not just the part of me that misses home, family, parents, siblings, etc. that makes me reflect on this saying.
It's the fact that I finally understand how much I (and undoubtedly many others in the world) took for granted when I was surrounded by family. Simple tasks that Mum did for me seem like an impossible hurdle to overcome when I'm faced with it alone.
I, like many who are homesick, have moments of happiness and clarity, moments when I forget for just a brief period when I'm surrounded by others that I still miss the place I call home.
But, despite still being in the depths of a depressive mindset at the moment, I've noticed something that makes me feel a lot better.
I am not alone.
There are many others, almost everywhere in the world who feel the same as I do and, in some cases, even worse.
While I force myself to eat despite not feeling hungry at all, there are some out there who starve themselves or go the other way and start what we call 'comfort eating'. Both are, in their own ways, bad for your health and for your overall well-being.
So this is the list I have come up with to help me through this time and try and get me back in the right state of mind. I would love to share it with all of you:-

1) Home will always be where the heart is. Accept this and remember, no matter how much changes, home is always a constant that remains. It might not be somewhere you can go back to every weekend or even every month but it will wait for you, just like the people you miss.

2) Everyone changes. That's only natural. You might be surprised at how much you've changed in a few years. The transition from home to anywhere is a challenging thing and what you have to always remember is: IT WILL TAKE TIME.
You have plenty of time, even if you think otherwise, and as long as you make some form of effort to overcome homesickness (like writing this blog post for example!), it will eventually fade into the background or, at least, not be as prominent.

3) Get out and get involved. If you're not that much of a social being-fine. There's nothing wrong with that but staying in your room, with the curtains drawn and crying over memories will not get you anywhere except lower down in your recovery scheme. What I've been doing is getting into a routine that's familiar to me every morning-shower, breakfast, make bed,etc.
All light is good and my windows are wide open until the sun sets. The fresh air makes things better as well.

4) You will eventually settle into some sort of routine. Once you're busy, homesickness usually fades on its own, except for those odd moments when you feel lonely.

5) I cannot stress enough that you are not alone. Talking helps for some but if that makes you feel worse, do something you would normally do. I, for example, hate exercise and unfortunately have to do it in my new surroundings. I charged my iPod, chose a playlist and you'd be surprised at how much better everything felt when you have a touch of something familiar.

6) Talk to people. Wander around, find others and randomly talk to them. You may feel like you don't have any friends but, when you start talking to others, you'll find things are much better.

7) Remember, no matter how far away it might seem, you will eventually go back and visit home. You only have a short while away so try your best to enjoy that time before you go back to your old life. Homesickness is natural and the easiest cure, is to go with the flow and do something positive every time you feel a bit down.
That's my advice to everyone :-)

Second chances

A second chance.
Or maybe the event I'm talking about was actually a moment planned way before my time. Maybe this thing called destiny, which my grandfather was always fond of talking about, really exists.
How can I, for example, be sure that every decision I take is made by me alone?
Maybe there's something guiding me to make the choices I make?
Or maybe I'm just going crazy? (A likely possibility, I know!)
All I know for sure is that I have been given the chance to do something incredible that I never considered to be possible before. A surprise is putting it mildly.
I'm still not sure how this opportunity came around or how I happened to be the person chosen to do it out of countless others. I'm not sure where this will lead me and maybe, 20 years from now, I might be doing something completely different but to be given the chance to do something I never even considered myself to have a chance at is a delightful feeling.
I finally understand what people mean when they say, "A surprise is all the more sweeter!"
It really is.
If I had even an inkling as to how my life would turn out, or the fact that I would get this opportunity, I might not have been so excited when it actually happened. In fact, I would have probably just blown up my ego and walked around acting like a superior being.
Since I had no idea, it was a myriad of emotions I experienced, ranging from shock to confusion to incredible happiness the likes of which I cannot even attempt to describe!
And now that I've recorded my thoughts (which are too jumbled up in my head to make much sense to anyone but me) and read it back to myself, I realise I have probably left anyone who reads this completely confused. In fact, I'm sure anyone who's still with me at this point is trying desperately to track down my address so they can call the mental facility to request I be given urgent medical attention.
I assure you, I am perfectly fine-just in a state where I feel like there is someone or something out there that guards over everyone and makes even the worst scenarios turn around into something bright.
As if I have been given a diamond from a heap of coal, figuratively speaking.
I don't know what the rest of my life holds but maybe, every little moment of everyone's lives add up to a particular point, where suddenly everything that has happened to you-both good and bad- make sense or, at least, makes you feel like you endured everything for a reason.
I'm still far from that point but this is a minute version of it and I will end this post with this:
Those who don't believe may encounter something that makes them believers but no one ever truly in their deepest of hearts, can say they are not a believer of something. Life endures through belief. I think Disney had it right with their song, "Believe in your dreams and someday a rainbow will shine for you. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true".
And I'm certain of that! :-)

Open Doors

Have you ever heard the saying, "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window"?
If you haven't, I suggest you rent out 'The Sound Of Music' and watch it (and yes-I am nerdy enough to remember quotes from this movie!).
My point here is that, just like this great movie, there are great opportunities in life.
Many miss out on them because they're so preoccupied with the closed door in front of them that they fail to see the open window beside it.
A friend of mine, for example (who remains anonymous for the sake of privacy...I'm not entirely thoughtless!), recently missed out on something she had spent half her life trying to gain.
It had been her goal for years, ever since I had met her and I was just as confident as she was about the fact she would achieve it.
Unfortunately for her, fate had different plans and bad luck as we know it, chose to strike. She was devestated as you can imagine and there was nothing anyone could do to console her.
Of course we all tried to tell her she was better off without it; that she had plenty of time to figure out her life and things you generally say to cheer someone up but she brushed them all aside feeling, in her current frame of mind, that they were nothing more than empty promises.
And maybe they are, for the pessimists, but I still firmly hold on to the opinion that opportunity can always be found right in front of you.
If you open your eyes and see that window, which stands wide open just for you. The problem is, this window doesn't have a sign to point it out to you or a hand to beckon you with. It stands there, open, waiting for the moment when you will stop looking at the closed door and turn your face its way.
And some people never turn towards it, too caught up in the heartbreak they faced when the door closed in front of their faces- in sight but just out of grasp.
That's one of the hardest places to recover from but, if you find the courage and strength to turn away, to get back up and work twice as hard to reach it, you just might find that a window stands open right in front of your eyes...you just have to look :-)

Optimism in Life

So once again I've fallen into that horrible habit of not updating my blog! I guess you must have guessed by now that I'm one of those people who can only keep a diary for a week or so....
Anyway, moving onto today's hot topic-Optimism!
Optimism is one of the rare and beautiful traits someone can acquire. Is it nature or nurture that makes someone optimistic? I'm not really sure but an optimistic person definitely lights up a room!
I'm not much of an optimist...in actual fact I'm quite the opposite and I'm not proud to say that. People like me spent most of their life worrying about small and sometimes insignificant things because we fail to see the bright side of situations.
So yes, when you're strolling through the park and a bird drops a little 'surprise' on your new shirt, it might be hard to be cheerful. I'm usually in the habit of muttering under my breath and running home as fast as I can while trying to avoid the pity, sympathy and laughter people throw my way.
A true optimist would probably say something like, "If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, it's going to be a great day!"
And when I reflect on it (much later on, after I've changed shirts, finished cursing the inconsiderate bird and made myself some hot chocolate to recover from the ordeal), it's a good way to look at things.
What it all comes down to is this.
You have one life-live it! Don't be bogged down by the little things. You're never the only one that faces something like that, even if it might seem so at the time.
I don't mean do something reckless for the sake of it like this YOLO business I've been hearing about (You Only Live Once...yeah but do you really want to end your life at the age of 20 doing a motorcycle stunt no one with a brain would do?) but why not live on the bright side of life. You only get one chance after all.
That being said, I'm still going to get mad when the guy in front of me drives at 20 on a 100k zone but worrying over the little things really doesn't do you any favours.
Most importantly, by worrying about tomorrow and all the disasters it could bring, you fail to enjoy the beauty of the present.
Life's a gift-there's no doubt about it and time's a curse. So why not enjoy life while you can because time will keep ticking by and you'll never get another chance to capture this moment :)

Disappointments or Destiny?

If you have never read any of my previous posts or blogs, let me start by telling you I usually ramble quite a lot.
For me, having a blog-even one that I only update once every few months (my conscience is rolling her eyes at me :-P)- is a way for me to deal with my emotions and the stress we all sometimes go through.
I do try and talk about things we all experience at some point in our life so maybe this blog might help you with your own problems. I like to think I help :-)
So the issue for today is disappointments.

If you tell me you have never faced disappointment in your life, I only have three words for you-Let's swap lives!
Not many (if any) people are fortunate enough to say that and I am no exception. I've faced many disappointments in my life. There are times when you decide to take the initiative and set yourself a goal which you hope to reach by a certain time, only to experience that draining emotion we all hate-failure!
You try and try, thinking that this is the best you can do, that you will reach your goal this time round only to be knocked down on your backside again. It's usually at times like these, others try and help you out by telling you to keep persevering, that determination and wishful thinking will help you achieve you goal in the future. Never give up.
I always used to look at these pieces of advice as nothing more than my friends and family's attempt to cheer me up. But now, looking back, I see what they said held a lot of truth in it.

So now, I have a new motto- "A true failure is not one who gets knocked back, it's one who refuses to get back up and carry on".
And that makes me think. All the setbacks we suffer, all the things that make us wish we had never been born or that we had a better life, it all helps shape us into who we are. Our character is built through these events and how we deal with them become what we call our 'life experiences'.
Those are the things we can look back on with pride and pass on to our children and grandchildren because we can say those are the obstacles we overcame in our lives to get us to where we are.
Is it truly fair to call them disappointments then? Or are they just sign boards that point out opportunities  to you, showing you the right way to your destiny? The place you were always meant to reach?

I guess it's a question no one can answer until they get to that point in life where they can say they have fulfilled their destiny :-)

Childhood songs-do you remember?

We had a discussion at work about the songs we used to listen to when we were children. It's really funny thinking back.
Almost all of us would have heard songs when we were younger that wouldn't really be considered appropriate for that age-but it didn't matter because chances are we had no idea what the words really meant.
I look back now at my one-time favourite song 'Barbie Girl' by the famous Aqua (I was about 7 at the time). I remember singing the chorus-
"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic.
You can brush my hair, Undress me anywhere
Imagination, life is your creation".
 I certainly didn't realise what I was singing about! How many of you have done that as a child? And now  that we're older and understand the innuendos behind the song lyrics (some of which should have been blatantly obvious!) we wonder how we didn't pick up on this as a kid.
I grew up in New Zealand (Aotearoa, Land of the Long White Clouds...whatever you want to call it!) and I remember singing this song at school called "She'll be right".
I tried to search up the song lyrics because, if memory serves, it was a really funny song but apparently nobody has written the lyrics on the web!
From what I remember, it went a bit like this:-


"When you're hanging by your socks off some Himalayan rock
  With a thousand feet of nothing underneath.
  Or when you don't know what's so funny till you try and leave the dunny
  And they've superglued your trousers to the seat!


She'll be right, she'll be right
That's the story, morning glory
You can make it right.
Have a go, you never know
What's the hurry? Say no worries
You'll be home and hosed.


When your teacher's screaming murder 
Cause there's a cockroach in his burger..."

And it keeps going on but I can't recall the rest of it. If anyone has heard this song or know where to find the lyrics (I tried 3 different lyric finders online) or, even better, know the lyrics-PLEASE let me know!
It was one of the funniest songs I remember from childhood and it would be great if someone has tracked it down!
Seriously- don't be shy. Post it in the comments or email me or something. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the effort and succeeds! :-)
So...anyone have any other amazing songs that you loved when you were a child?
Share them in the comments (and I'm not just saying that to get more comments or anything *cough*)
Hopefully we can have a collaboration of childhood songs on here.
Blog you later (Still haven't heard anyone say this!)

Strangers, Fences and Dogs

I'm guessing you've heard the saying, "There's nothing to fear but fear itself".
My revelation of the day is that whoever came up with THAT saying, obviously never found themselves in a situation involving two ferocious, barking dogs and a fence!
Have I lost you yet? So today was a pretty horrible day-it didn't start out like that though.
No, this morning I was feeling bright and optimistic about life because I could sleep in (since work started late) and my lovely mother had made me a delicious breakfast (pancakes if you're wondering) before she left for work herself.
The problems started when I left the house and started my daily walk down to work. I was walking along the pavement and my mind, like usual, was wandering elsewhere when I suddenly saw these 2 huge dogs running towards me, barking.
The thing that freaked me out even more was that their owner was running after them with a pair of leashes and shouting at them to come back.
She also had a muzzle in one hand.
So...back to the dogs. They looked kind of like guard dog type ones (I'm not a dog expert and I have no idea about dog breeds but let me just tell you-these were NOT harmless chihuahuas!) and one still had its muzzle on, which for obvious reasons worried me since it was apparent the other muzzle must belong to the other dog!
I swear that time literally stopped for a second. I have never been so scared in my life (which shows you what a sad, uneventful life I have!).
The dogs ran right up to me and bared their teeth at me, snarling, standing on their hunches-the whole deal.
And I fell backwards, over a fence and into some guy's property. The crazy dogs actually started scratching at the fence (well...not actually scratching I guess but you can picture the action) and then, thankfully, the owner (a very nice man who apologised about a thousand times) came and got the muzzle on the dog and led them both away.
Of course, I was still in shock at this point and didn't even attempt to stand up. Then the person who's front yard I had just so unfashionably fell into, came out on their front porch and asked me the senseless question, "Are you alright there?"
Well...obviously I wasn't alright! I don't normally make a habit of ruining my work uniform, falling into people's front gardens or getting my arms and legs cut (the fence was surprisingly sharp!). Did I mention the ground was wet and muddy? So yeah, my white uniform shirt (I honestly don't get why people insist on wearing white to work! It's just asking for trouble!) was completely ruined and after the man had helped me up (despite his earlier question, he was a kind soul really), I thanked him politely and practically ran the entire way home.
Then I called in and told my work that I couldn't make it today. I didn't really give a reason so I know the boss is going to ask tomorrow and I will probably be the laughing stock of the office for the next few days!
If anyone has any brilliant excuses that I can use as an explanation at work, please feel free to suggest them. I can use all the help I can get!
The sad thing is, I'm actually a dog-lover. I have nothing against dogs and I'm not usually scared of them but I think this time I had an excuse.
So here I am, wondering if I'm the only person in the world who faces situations like this and making a future note to avoid fences and barking dogs!
Of course, I could probably take a taxi or bus to work and avoid future fiascos like this altogether but if nothing else, it (hopefully) provided the readers of this blog with a bit of entertainment.
By the way McDonald's girl who I mentioned in my last post, you never commented on the post dedicated to you so I assume your shy or embarrassed...or stopped reading this blog (a possible possibility) but I really was thrilled someone actually spend time reading this thing...so thanks I guess.
Anyway, hopefully nothing else happens to me today (like being struck by thunder for example...and no-it's not raining!) so I'll thank everyone who wasted their time reading this and say (come on-you should know it by now!) blog you later :-)

Oh, and an inspirational quote to keep you going:-


"First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win"- Mahatma Gandhi